1:1 Engineering Template: A Complete Guide to More Effective One-on-Ones
One-on-one meetings are the cornerstone of effective engineering management. Yet 73% of managers struggle to make these sessions truly valuable. Whether you're a new engineering manager or looking to improve your existing 1:1 practice, having a structured engineering 1:1 template can transform these conversations from status updates into powerful development opportunities.
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With EliuAI's AI-powered platform, you can run better 1:1s, catch issues sooner, and build stronger teams—all while staying organized and focused on what matters most.
Table of Contents
- Why Engineering 1:1s Matter
- The Complete 1:1 Template Structure
- 50+ Essential 1:1 Questions
- Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Adapting Your Template
- Tools & Resources
- How to Measure Success
Why Engineering 1:1s Matter
Regular one-on-one meetings with your engineers aren't just another calendar item—they're your primary tool for building trust, understanding individual needs, and fostering professional growth. Research consistently shows that employees who have regular, meaningful 1:1s with their managers are:
- 3x more engaged at work
- 87% less likely to leave their company
- 2x more productive in their roles
- More innovative and willing to take calculated risks
Key Benefits of Engineering One-on-Ones
For engineering teams specifically, effective 1:1 meetings serve several critical purposes:
Early problem detection: Catch technical blockers, team friction, or burnout before they escalate into major issues.
Career development: Guide engineers through their growth trajectory and skill development with personalized coaching.
Feedback exchange: Create a psychologically safe space for bidirectional feedback that improves both manager and engineer performance.
Alignment: Ensure individual work connects to team goals and company vision, reducing wasted effort.
Relationship building: Strengthen manager-engineer trust and rapport, which directly impacts retention and performance.
How AI-Powered 1:1s Work with EliuAI
While having a great one-on-one meeting template is essential, managing multiple engineers and tracking all the conversations, action items, and growth plans can be overwhelming. That's where EliuAI comes in.
AI-Powered Engineering Management
EliuAI uses artificial intelligence to help engineering managers:
- Prepare smarter: Get AI-generated talking points based on recent work, team dynamics, and growth goals
- Take better notes: Automatically organize and structure your 1:1 notes with intelligent suggestions
- Track action items: Never lose sight of commitments with AI-generated action items that follow up automatically
- Spot patterns: Identify recurring themes across your team's 1:1s to address systemic issues early
- Generate insights: Understand team health, growth trajectories, and potential risks
Centralized Team Intelligence
Stop juggling multiple documents and spreadsheets. EliuAI brings all your team's one-on-ones into one place:
- See the full history of conversations with each engineer
- Track career development progress over time
- Get reminders for action items you committed to
- Generate growth plans based on conversation patterns
- Visualize team trends and patterns
The Essential 1:1 Engineering Template Structure
An effective engineering 1:1 template should be flexible enough to accommodate different conversation needs while maintaining consistent structure. Here's our proven framework used by 500+ engineering managers:
Before the Meeting: Preparation (5 minutes)
Manager preparation checklist:
- ✅ Review notes from previous 1:1
- ✅ Check recent work completed (PRs, tickets, projects)
- ✅ Note any feedback to share (positive or constructive)
- ✅ Prepare 2-3 questions based on recent observations
- ✅ Review team dynamics and recent incidents
Engineer preparation checklist:
- ✅ Reflect on wins, challenges, and blockers
- ✅ Identify topics they want to discuss
- ✅ Consider career development questions
- ✅ Prepare any feedback for manager
- ✅ Think about what support they need
Pro tip with EliuAI: The platform automatically generates personalized prep suggestions based on your engineer's recent activity, previous conversations, and team patterns—saving you 20+ minutes per 1:1.
Opening (5 minutes): Personal Check-in
Start with the human element before diving into work topics. This builds psychological safety and often surfaces important context:
- "How are you doing? How's life outside work?"
- "What's on your mind today?"
- "Anything you're excited or worried about this week?"
- "How's your energy level lately?"
This opening creates space for authentic conversation and helps you understand the whole person, not just the employee.
Core Discussion (about 20 minutes)
1. Current Work & Projects (5 minutes)
Key questions for this section:
- What are you working on this week?
- Are there any blockers I can help remove?
- Which tasks are energizing you? Which feel draining?
- Do you have the resources and context you need?
- How's the technical complexity? Too easy? Too hard?
- What help do you need from teammates?
Pro tip: Let the engineer drive this section. Avoid turning it into a status report—you should already know their task status from other channels like standups, Jira, or GitHub.
2. Team & Collaboration (5 minutes)
Essential collaboration questions:
- How's collaboration with the team going?
- Anyone you'd like to work with more? Less?
- Any team dynamics you'd like to discuss?
- Feedback on recent team processes or decisions?
- How effective are our meetings?
- Do you feel heard in team discussions?
3. Growth & Development (5 minutes)
This is often the most impactful section of your engineering one-on-one:
Career development questions:
- What skills do you want to develop next?
- What areas of engineering interest you most right now?
- What projects would stretch you in the right direction?
- Are there any learning resources you need?
- How do you feel about your progress toward career goals?
- What does the next level look like for you?
- Who's career path inspires you?
4. Feedback Exchange (5 minutes)
Feedback best practices:
- Share specific, recent feedback (both positive and constructive)
- Use the SBI model: Situation, Behavior, Impact
- Ask: "What feedback do you have for me?"
- Discuss any performance concerns or excellence early
- Be direct but compassionate
- Focus on growth, not criticism
Closing (5 minutes): Action Items & Next Steps
Effective closing checklist:
- ✅ Summarize key takeaways
- ✅ Document action items with owners and deadlines
- ✅ Confirm next meeting time
- ✅ Ask: "Did we cover everything you wanted to discuss?"
- ✅ End on a positive, forward-looking note
With EliuAI: Action items are automatically extracted from your notes and tracked through completion, with smart reminders so nothing falls through the cracks.
Essential Questions for Engineering 1:1s
Having a bank of thoughtful 1:1 questions helps when conversation lulls or you want to go deeper. Here are 50+ proven questions organized by category:
Technical Growth Questions (12 questions)
- What's the most interesting technical challenge you've faced recently?
- What areas of our tech stack do you want to learn more about?
- Are there any technologies or tools you'd like to experiment with?
- How confident do you feel with [specific technology/practice]?
- What technical skills would make the biggest impact on your work?
- What's a technical decision you're proud of from this sprint?
- Where do you feel technically challenged? Where do you feel bored?
- What technical debt concerns you most?
- How do you prefer to learn new technologies?
- What engineering practices do you want to improve?
- Are there any technical certifications you're interested in?
- What's the hardest bug you've solved lately? What did you learn?
Career Development Questions (10 questions)
- Where do you see yourself in 2 years? In 5 years?
- What does the next level look like for you?
- What projects would help you get there?
- Whose career path do you admire and why?
- What kind of work energizes you most?
- What are your long-term career aspirations?
- Do you see yourself as an IC or moving toward management?
- What skills gap do you need to close for promotion?
- What would make your work more fulfilling?
- How can I better support your career growth?
Team Dynamics Questions (10 questions)
- Who on the team have you learned the most from lately?
- Is there anyone you'd like to mentor or be mentored by?
- How can we improve how the team works together?
- What's working well in our team processes?
- What's one thing that frustrates you about how we work?
- Do you feel psychologically safe on this team?
- How inclusive does our team feel?
- What team norms should we establish or change?
- How effective are our code reviews?
- Do team meetings feel valuable to you?
Work-Life Balance Questions (8 questions)
- How's your workload feeling?
- Are you able to disconnect after hours?
- What would make your work more sustainable?
- Do you feel like you have enough time for deep work?
- How's your energy level these days?
- Are you getting enough sleep?
- Do you feel burned out or close to it?
- What boundaries do you need me to help protect?
Manager Feedback Questions (10 questions)
- What could I do differently to support you better?
- Am I giving you enough/too much autonomy?
- What's one thing I should start/stop/continue doing?
- How can I be a better manager for you?
- Do you feel heard in our 1:1s?
- Am I providing enough context about team/company direction?
- Is my feedback helpful and specific?
- Do I advocate for you effectively?
- What's something I do that helps you? That hurts you?
- How would you describe my management style?
Strategic Thinking Questions (6 questions)
- What do you think are the biggest risks facing our team/project?
- If you were in my role, what would you prioritize?
- What opportunities do you see that we might be missing?
- How do you think our team compares to other engineering teams?
- What should we be doing differently as a team?
- What's the most important thing we're not talking about?
Common 1:1 Mistakes to Avoid
Even with a great one-on-one template, certain pitfalls can undermine your meetings:
1. Making It a Status Update (The #1 Mistake)
Your engineer's time is valuable. Don't waste 1:1s on information you could get asynchronously through standups, project management tools, or Slack.
Fix: If you find yourself asking "what are you working on?" every week without deeper discussion, you're doing it wrong. Use async channels for status, use 1:1s for coaching, feedback, and development.
2. Canceling or Rescheduling Frequently
When you regularly cancel 1:1s, you signal that they're not a priority. This erodes trust and prevents you from catching issues early.
Fix: Treat these meetings as sacred—they should be the last thing you cancel, not the first. If you must reschedule, do it immediately and ensure makeup happens within 48 hours.
3. Doing All the Talking
The engineer should do 70-80% of the talking. Your job is to listen, ask good questions, and provide guidance when requested.
Fix: Track your talk time. If you're dominating the conversation, you're missing valuable insights. Practice active listening and ask more open-ended questions.
4. Ignoring Career Development
If every 1:1 focuses only on current work, you're missing the opportunity to invest in long-term growth.
Fix: Dedicate time regularly (at least monthly) to discuss career aspirations and development plans. Use EliuAI to track career conversation frequency.
5. Not Taking Notes
Without documentation, action items get lost and you'll forget important context for future conversations. You'll also lose the ability to track progress over time.
Fix: EliuAI solves this by automatically organizing your notes and highlighting important themes. At minimum, use a shared doc.
6. Not Following Through on Action Items
Nothing destroys trust faster than consistently forgetting commitments you made. If you promise to unblock something, get budget approval, or make an introduction—do it.
Fix: Use a tracking system (EliuAI does this automatically) and review action items at the start of each 1:1.
7. Using the Same Format for Everyone
Different engineers need different things. High performers want growth challenges; struggling engineers need support and clarity.
Fix: Adapt your engineering 1:1 template based on the engineer's level, performance, and preferences. Ask them: "How can we make these more valuable for you?"
Adapting the Template for Different Scenarios
Your 1:1 meeting template should flex based on context:
For New Team Members (First 90 Days)
The first three months are critical for retention and productivity. Structure your new hire 1:1s differently:
Week 1-2: Focus on onboarding logistics
- Tool access and setup
- Meeting key teammates
- Understanding team norms
- Initial impressions and questions
- Setting expectations
Week 3-6: Check understanding
- Codebase comprehension
- Technical stack familiarity
- Team process clarity
- Early wins and blockers
- Building relationships
Week 7-12: Discuss integration
- Full productivity expectations
- Team dynamic fit
- Technical confidence
- Project ownership
- Career trajectory discussion
Essential new hire questions:
- What's been most confusing or surprising so far?
- Who have you connected with on the team?
- What would have made your first [week/month] better?
- Do you have enough context to be productive?
- How does our team compare to your expectations?
- What documentation would help you most?
- Are you comfortable asking questions?
For High Performers
These engineers need challenge and growth, not micromanagement:
Focus areas:
- Strategic thinking and bigger picture
- Leadership opportunities (mentorship, tech leads, architecture)
- Long-term career vision
- What keeps them engaged and motivated
- Stretch assignments and special projects
- Cross-team influence and impact
Key questions for high performers:
- What would make your work more impactful?
- What problems are you not getting to solve that you'd like to?
- How can we leverage your strengths more effectively?
- What would you need to move to [next level]?
- What would make you leave this team? (Be direct)
- How can you multiply your impact through others?
- What technical strategy should we be pursuing?
For Struggling Engineers
When performance is below expectations, increase structure and support:
Approach:
- Move to weekly or bi-weekly 1:1s (instead of monthly)
- Create clear, specific improvement plans with measurable goals
- Focus on removing blockers and providing resources
- Celebrate small wins to rebuild confidence
- Be direct but compassionate about concerns
- Document everything
Key questions for performance support:
- What's getting in the way of your success?
- How can I better support you?
- What's feeling unclear or confusing?
- What would help you feel more confident?
- Do you feel like you're improving? Why or why not?
- What resources or training would help?
- Do you understand what's expected of you?
Warning signs to watch:
- Consistent missed deadlines
- Quality issues in code reviews
- Withdrawal from team activities
- Defensive reactions to feedback
- Lack of ownership
For Remote Engineers
Remote work requires extra intentionality:
Focus areas:
- Deliberate casual conversation and connection
- Isolation or loneliness check-ins
- Remote work setup (home office, equipment, boundaries)
- Communication preferences
- Team culture inclusion
- Work-life separation
Key questions for remote engineers:
- How's working from home going for you?
- Do you feel connected to the team?
- Are you able to separate work from personal life?
- What would improve your remote work experience?
- Do you feel like you have the information you need?
- How's the async communication working for you?
- Do you feel like you're missing important context?
- When was the last time you had a casual chat with a teammate?
For Senior/Staff Engineers
These conversations should be more strategic and less tactical:
Focus areas:
- System design and architectural decisions
- Technical leadership and influence
- Organizational impact
- Cross-team initiatives
- Technical strategy and vision
- Mentorship and knowledge sharing
- Technical debt and platform health
Key questions for senior ICs:
- What technical debt worries you most?
- Where should we be investing in our architecture?
- How can you multiply your impact through others?
- What patterns do you see across the organization?
- What technical standards should we establish?
- How can we improve our engineering practices?
- What's the biggest technical risk we're not addressing?
Tools and Resources for Engineering 1:1s
While the conversation matters most, the right tools can help you stay organized and maximize impact:
EliuAI: Your AI Co-Pilot for Engineering Management
EliuAI is specifically built for engineering managers who want to run better 1:1s:
Core Features:
- ✅ AI Prep Assistant: Get personalized prep suggestions before each 1:1
- ✅ Smart Note-Taking: Real-time suggestions for capturing important moments
- ✅ Action Item Tracking: Automatically extract and track commitments
- ✅ Growth Insights: Visualize each engineer's development journey
- ✅ Team Intelligence: See patterns and trends across your entire team
- ✅ Suggested Questions: AI recommends relevant questions based on context
- ✅ Sentiment Analysis: Track team morale and satisfaction over time
- ✅ Integration: Works with Slack, GitHub, Jira, and more
Get Started with EliuAI - Free 14-Day Trial →
Other Helpful Tools for One-on-Ones
Documentation:
- Google Docs (shared documents)
- Notion (template databases)
- Confluence (team wiki integration)
- Obsidian (personal knowledge management)
Project Context:
- GitHub (PR and code review insights)
- Jira (ticket progress tracking)
- Linear (modern project management)
- Figma (design collaboration)
Career Frameworks:
- progression.fyi (engineering ladders)
- levels.fyi (compensation benchmarks)
- Internal career ladder documentation
Feedback Tools:
- 360 review platforms
- Peer feedback systems
- Anonymous feedback channels
Time Management:
- Calendly (scheduling)
- Motion (AI calendar)
- Reclaim (smart scheduling)
Making 1:1s Sustainable Long-Term
Consistency is key for effective engineering one-on-ones. Here's how to maintain them long-term:
1. Schedule Them at the Same Time Every Period
Creates rhythm and reduces scheduling overhead. For example: Every other Tuesday at 2pm. Your engineers will plan around it and prepare accordingly.
Best practices:
- Avoid Monday mornings (too hectic)
- Avoid Friday afternoons (low energy)
- Mid-morning or mid-afternoon works best
- Keep the same day/time to build habit
2. Block Prep Time Before Each Meeting
Schedule 10 minutes before each 1:1 for review. With EliuAI, you'll get AI-generated prep automatically, making this even more efficient.
Prep checklist:
- Review last meeting's notes and action items
- Check recent work activity
- Note any feedback to share
- Prepare 2-3 key questions
3. Use Your Template Consistently
Having structure reduces cognitive load. You don't have to reinvent the conversation every time.
Template benefits:
- Ensures comprehensive coverage
- Reduces anxiety for both parties
- Creates predictability
- Makes prep easier
- Allows for comparison over time
4. Follow Through Religiously
Always complete action items you commit to. Track them systematically (EliuAI does this automatically).
Action item best practices:
- Assign clear owners
- Set specific deadlines
- Review at start of next 1:1
- Track completion rate
- Hold yourself accountable first
5. Iterate and Improve Based on Feedback
Ask periodically: "How could we make our 1:1s more valuable?" Be open to feedback and willing to adjust.
Continuous improvement:
- Quarterly meta-conversations about the 1:1 format
- Adjust frequency based on needs
- Try new question frameworks
- Experiment with timing
- Learn from other managers
6. Protect the Time Sacred
Don't let urgent work consistently trump 1:1s. They're an investment in preventing future fires.
When you can reschedule:
- True emergencies only
- Critical production incidents
- Executive requests (rarely)
When you should never reschedule:
- Regular meetings
- Your own poor planning
- "More important" work
- Convenience
7. Batch Similar Tasks
If you need to discuss the same topic with multiple engineers, note patterns and consider team-wide solutions.
Pattern recognition:
- Similar blockers → process issue
- Same confusion → documentation gap
- Shared frustration → team dynamic problem
- Common growth area → team training opportunity
Measuring 1:1 Effectiveness
How do you know if your engineering 1:1s are working? Look for these indicators:
Quantitative Signals
Preparation Rate
- Do engineers come with topics prepared?
- Target: 80%+ of engineers prepare in advance
- Track: Number of pre-meeting agenda items added
Action Item Completion
- What percentage of commitments get done?
- Target: 90%+ completion rate
- Track: Action items completed vs. created
Career Progression
- Are engineers advancing at healthy rates?
- Target: Meet or exceed company promotion rates
- Track: Time to promotion vs. company average
Retention Rate
- Are your engineers staying on the team?
- Target: <10% unwanted attrition annually
- Track: Voluntary departures year over year
Engagement Scores
- How do 1:1s impact engagement surveys?
- Target: Above company average
- Track: Manager effectiveness scores
Qualitative Signals
✅ Engineers share problems early, not after they're crises
✅ You get honest, critical feedback from your team
✅ Engineers bring up career development topics themselves
✅ The conversation flows naturally, not awkwardly
✅ Engineers tell you the 1:1s are valuable
✅ Team members ask for additional 1:1 time when needed
✅ You catch issues before they become problems
✅ Engineers feel comfortable being vulnerable
Direct Measurement
Ask directly in your 1:1s:
"How valuable are these meetings for you on a scale of 1-10? What would make them a 10?"
Track this over time. If scores are consistently below 7, dig into why and adjust your approach.
With EliuAI Analytics
EliuAI provides team-wide insights automatically:
📊 Team Health Metrics:
- Average action item completion rates (yours and engineers')
- Topics discussed most frequently across the team
- Career development conversation frequency
- Sentiment trends over time
- Manager consistency scores
- Preparation rates
- Meeting frequency patterns
📈 Individual Insights:
- Career progression tracking
- Skills development over time
- Feedback frequency
- Growth area identification
- Risk indicators (burnout, disengagement)
Advanced 1:1 Techniques for Experienced Managers
Once you've mastered the basics of your one-on-one meeting template, try these advanced approaches:
The "Start, Stop, Continue" Framework
Every quarter, ask: "What should I start doing, stop doing, and continue doing as your manager?"
This structures feedback in an actionable way and gives you clear direction for improvement.
Career Conversation Sprints
Dedicate an entire month's worth of 1:1s to deep career planning:
- Week 1: Reflect on strengths and past successes
- Week 2: Define 1-year and 3-year goals
- Week 3: Identify skill gaps and barriers
- Week 4: Create concrete action plan with milestones
Rotating Deep Dives
Each 1:1, pick one topic to go really deep on rather than surface-level coverage of many topics:
- This month: Technical skills deep dive
- Next month: Team dynamics and collaboration
- Following month: Work-life balance and sustainability
- After that: Strategic thinking and impact
Skip-Level Insights Integration
Before 1:1s, occasionally review notes from your manager's 1:1s with you to bring broader company context into the conversation. This helps engineers understand how their work connects to company strategy.
Peer Feedback Integration
Before promotion discussions, gather anonymous peer feedback and discuss themes in 1:1s. This provides valuable perspective beyond just your observations.
The "One Thing" Focus
Start each 1:1 by asking: "If you could only improve one thing this quarter, what would it be?"
This creates focus and prevents spreading efforts too thin across many goals.
Sample 1:1 Conversation Flows
Here are three complete example conversations to illustrate the engineering 1:1 template in action:
Example 1: Growth-Focused Conversation (Senior → Staff)
Opening (5 min)
- "How are things going? I know you just got back from vacation."
- Small talk about travel, reintegration into work
- Engineer mentions feeling refreshed and energized
Current Work (10 min)
- Discussing the new microservice architecture project
- Engineer shares excitement about the technical challenge
- Brief blocker discussion (needs design review scheduled)
- Going well overall, timeline on track
Growth Focus (20 min)
- "You mentioned wanting to move toward Staff engineer. Let's talk about what that path looks like."
- Discuss Staff expectations: technical leadership, cross-team influence, mentorship
- Identify gap: needs more experience driving technical strategy across multiple teams
- Create action plan: lead the next architecture review, mentor two junior engineers
- Discuss specific projects that would demonstrate Staff-level impact
- Manager commits to: nominating engineer for cross-functional architecture committee
Closing (5 min)
- Action items:
- Engineer: Schedule design review, identify two mentees, draft architecture proposal
- Manager: Nominate for architecture committee, intro to Staff engineer for coffee chat
- Next 1:1: Review architecture proposal feedback
- Engineer feels energized and has clear path forward
Example 2: Support-Focused Conversation (Struggling Engineer)
Opening (5 min)
- "How are you doing? You seemed stressed in standup yesterday."
- Engineer opens up about feeling overwhelmed
- Mentions difficulty sleeping, working late nights
Current Work (15 min)
- Discuss the challenging bug that's taking longer than expected (now day 4)
- Explore why: unclear requirements, unfamiliar part of codebase, pressure to deliver fast
- Engineer admits feeling lost but didn't want to ask for help
- Manager normalizes asking for help, shares similar early-career experience
- Offers pairing session with senior engineer who wrote that code
Support & Guidance (15 min)
- "Let's talk about how we can set you up for success."
- Discuss workload and priorities—agree to move non-critical tasks to next sprint
- Talk about asking for help earlier (normalize this behavior explicitly)
- Address impostor syndrome feelings with empathy and concrete evidence of growth
- Point to three recent PRs that were excellent
- Discuss sustainable working hours—no nights/weekends expected
Closing (5 min)
- Action items:
- Manager: Adjust sprint priorities today, schedule pairing for tomorrow, check in mid-week
- Engineer: Message in Slack when stuck >30min, take breaks, log off at 6pm
- Schedule check-in for Wednesday (in addition to next regular 1:1)
- Engineer feels supported and has clear path forward
- Manager follows up with encouraging Slack message later that day
Example 3: Feedback-Focused Conversation (Performance Concern)
Opening (5 min)
- Standard check-in, but manager signals this will be a more serious conversation
- Sets compassionate but direct tone
Feedback Discussion (30 min)
- "I want to talk about something important. I've noticed your PRs have been getting multiple rounds of feedback on basic issues. This is a pattern I need to address."
- Specific examples provided:
- Last 5 PRs: naming conventions ignored
- Missing tests on 3 recent features
- Incomplete error handling causing production bugs
- Ask engineer's perspective: "What's going on from your side?"
- Engineer reveals: rushing due to perceived pressure, unclear on team standards, personal stress
- Manager clarifies: quality over speed, provides written coding standards doc
- Discusses personal stress—offers EAP resources, flexible hours if needed
- Creates improvement plan with measurable goals:
- All PRs pass linter before submission
- 80% test coverage on new code
- Zero critical bugs in production for 30 days
- Discuss support needed: code review checklist, slower ramp-up period on new features, clearer documentation
- Set clear consequences if improvement doesn't happen, but emphasize belief in engineer's ability to succeed
Closing (10 min)
- Document the plan in writing (send email summary within 1 hour)
- Schedule follow-up check-ins:
- Week 1: Code review of first PR together
- Week 2: Progress check-in
- Week 4: Formal assessment
- Emphasize that manager wants engineer to succeed and will provide support
- End on note of confidence with clear path forward
- Provide resources: coding standards doc, testing best practices, review checklist
Conclusion: Building Better Teams Through Better 1:1s
A well-structured 1:1 engineering template isn't about rigid adherence to an agenda—it's about creating consistent space for meaningful connection and development. The best one-on-ones feel like conversations, not interviews, but they're conversations with purpose and direction.
Start with this template, adapt it to your team's needs, and most importantly, show up consistently. Your engineers will notice the investment, and your entire team will be stronger for it.
Key Takeaways
✅ Use a consistent structure but remain flexible
✅ Let engineers do 70-80% of the talking
✅ Focus on development, not status updates
✅ Take notes and track action items religiously
✅ Adapt your approach for different engineers
✅ Measure effectiveness and iterate
✅ Protect 1:1 time as sacred
✅ Use AI tools like EliuAI to scale your impact
Remember: The goal isn't perfect 1:1s. The goal is regular, genuine conversations that help your engineers grow, feel supported, and do their best work.
Transform Your 1:1s with EliuAI
Ready to take your engineering one-on-ones to the next level? EliuAI helps you:
✅ Run better 1:1s with AI-powered prep and insights
✅ Catch issues sooner with centralized team intelligence
✅ Build stronger teams through consistent, meaningful conversations
✅ Never miss an action item with automatic tracking
✅ Watch your engineers grow with visual progress tracking
✅ Save 3+ hours per week on 1:1 prep and admin
✅ Scale your impact across larger teams
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What Engineering Managers Are Saying
"EliuAI transformed how I prepare for 1:1s. I used to spend 30 minutes prepping—now the AI gives me personalized talking points in seconds. My team has noticed the difference."
— Sarah Chen, Senior Engineering Manager, Series B SaaS Startup
"The action item tracking alone is worth it. I never lose track of commitments anymore, and my team trusts me more because I always follow through. My 1:1 effectiveness scores went from 7.2 to 9.1."
— Marcus Johnson, VP of Engineering, Fortune 500 Financial Services
"I manage 8 engineers and was drowning in 1:1 notes across different docs. EliuAI centralized everything and now I can actually see patterns across my team. I caught a burnout risk 3 weeks early."
— Priya Sharma, Engineering Manager, Tech Unicorn
"As a new manager, I had no idea what to ask in 1:1s. EliuAI's suggested questions based on each engineer's context have been a game-changer. I feel like a 10-year veteran now."
— David Kim, First-Time Engineering Manager, Startup
Join 500+ engineering managers using EliuAI →
Frequently Asked Questions About Engineering 1:1s
How often should I have 1:1s with my engineers?
Standard cadence: Bi-weekly (every 2 weeks) for most engineers is the sweet spot. This provides enough time for meaningful progress between meetings while maintaining consistent connection.
Adjust based on:
- New hires: Weekly for first 90 days
- Struggling engineers: Weekly until performance improves
- High performers: Monthly may work, but bi-weekly is still preferred
- Remote teams: Lean toward more frequent (weekly)
- Team size: If you have 8+ reports, bi-weekly minimum
How long should engineering 1:1s be?
Recommended length: 45-60 minutes
Why this duration:
- 30 minutes is too short for meaningful development conversations
- 60+ minutes can feel exhausting and unfocused
- 45 minutes allows for personal check-in, current work discussion, and growth topics
When to adjust:
- New hire 1:1s: 60 minutes (more questions and context needed)
- Performance improvement plans: 60 minutes (need detailed discussion)
- Highly autonomous senior engineers: 30 minutes may suffice if supplemented with async communication
What if my engineer doesn't come prepared?
Immediate actions:
- Send agenda 24 hours before meeting
- Ask: "What topics do you want to cover today?"
- Model preparation by sharing your topics first
- Use EliuAI to generate suggested topics based on their recent work
Long-term solution:
- Explicitly discuss the value of preparation
- Create shared agenda doc they can add to anytime
- Recognize and appreciate when they do prepare
- If pattern continues, make it part of feedback conversation
Should 1:1s be on or off the record?
Best practice: Mostly off the record for psychological safety, but document action items and key themes.
What to document:
- Action items and commitments
- Career development goals
- Feedback (factual, specific)
- Significant wins or challenges
What NOT to document:
- Personal/sensitive information they share in confidence
- Venting or emotional processing
- Early-stage concerns they're working through
- Anything they explicitly ask to keep off record
Always be transparent: If something needs to be documented for HR purposes, tell them explicitly.
Can I cancel a 1:1 if nothing important is happening?
No. This is a common mistake.
Why you should never skip:
- "Nothing important" often means you're out of touch
- The relationship building is the point, not just topic coverage
- Engineers may have concerns they haven't voiced yet
- Consistency builds trust; canceling erodes it
- You'll regret it when small issues become big problems
If time is tight:
- Shorten to 30 minutes rather than cancel
- Do a walking 1:1 or coffee chat
- Shift to less formal format but still connect
Exception: True emergencies (production down, critical incident). Even then, reschedule within 24-48 hours.
How do I handle 1:1s with remote engineers?
Best practices for remote 1:1s:
✅ Always use video (camera on for both)
✅ Start with longer personal check-in (5-10 min)
✅ Ask about isolation and connection explicitly
✅ Be more intentional about casual conversation
✅ Check in on home office setup and ergonomics
✅ Discuss async communication preferences
✅ Ensure they have visibility into team and company
✅ Watch for signs of burnout (harder to spot remotely)
✅ Schedule virtual coffee chats in addition to formal 1:1s
Tools that help:
- EliuAI (tracks sentiment and patterns remotely)
- Zoom/Google Meet (reliable video)
- Shared docs (collaborative agenda)
- Slack (async follow-up)
What if I manage too many people for regular 1:1s?
Ideal span of control: 5-8 direct reports for effective 1:1s
If you have 10+ reports:
Short-term solutions:
- Alternate weekly 1:1s with some reports (so you see everyone bi-weekly)
- Use group 1:1s for senior engineers (2-3 together)
- Leverage skip-level managers for some reports
- Use EliuAI to make prep more efficient (saves 50% time)
Long-term solution:
- Advocate for hiring another manager or promoting a tech lead
- Restructure team to reduce your direct reports
- Be honest with leadership about unsustainable span of control
Warning: More than 10 reports means 1:1 quality will suffer. Don't let it get to 15+.
Should I share my 1:1 notes with my engineers?
Yes, action items and key themes should be shared.
Best approach:
- Use a shared document both can access and edit
- Engineer can add agenda items anytime
- Both can see action items and progress
- Historical notes available for reference
What to keep private:
- Your personal observations you're still processing
- Feedback you're preparing to deliver
- Comparison to other team members
- Anything that would inhibit honest note-taking
EliuAI approach: Automatically generates shareable summaries while keeping your private notes separate.
How do I give negative feedback in a 1:1?
Framework for delivering constructive feedback:
1. Prepare thoroughly
- Specific examples with dates
- Focus on behavior and impact, not character
- Have a clear outcome you want
2. Create psychological safety
- Start with context: "I want to talk about something important"
- Explain your intent: "My goal is to help you succeed"
- State it's a conversation, not a lecture
3. Use SBI model
- Situation: "In last Tuesday's design review..."
- Behavior: "...you interrupted Sarah three times..."
- Impact: "...which made her reluctant to share ideas and frustrated the team"
4. Ask for their perspective
- "What was going on for you?"
- "How do you see the situation?"
- Listen genuinely
5. Create action plan together
- "What would help you [improve behavior]?"
- "Let's agree on specific steps"
- Set follow-up timeline
6. End with confidence
- "I believe you can do this"
- "I'm here to support you"
- Document the conversation
Remember: Feedback should never be a surprise. If it is, you've waited too long.
Additional Resources for Engineering Managers
Recommended Books on 1:1s and Management
📚 "The Manager's Path" by Camille Fournier
The definitive guide for engineering managers. Chapter on 1:1s is essential reading.
📚 "Radical Candor" by Kim Scott
Learn how to care personally while challenging directly in 1:1 conversations.
📚 "High Output Management" by Andy Grove
Classic text on 1:1s as the manager's most important tool.
📚 "The Making of a Manager" by Julie Zhuo
Practical advice for new managers, including excellent 1:1 guidance.
📚 "An Elegant Puzzle" by Will Larson
Systems thinking for engineering management, including 1:1 frameworks.
Online Resources and Templates
🔗 progression.fyi - Engineering career ladders and frameworks
🔗 Lara Hogan's blog - Excellent 1:1 questions and frameworks
🔗 Manager Tools Podcast - One-on-One episode series
🔗 Staff Eng - Resources for senior IC career development
🔗 EliuAI Blog - Ongoing engineering management content
Communities for Engineering Managers
💬 Rands Leadership Slack - 15,000+ engineering leaders
💬 Engineering Managers Reddit - Active community, great advice
💬 LeadDev Community - Conference community year-round
💬 CTO Craft - UK-based but global community
Download Your Free 1:1 Engineering Template
Ready to implement these strategies? Get started with our comprehensive template package:
What's Included:
✅ Meeting structure template (copy-paste ready)
✅ 50+ question bank organized by category
✅ Preparation checklist for managers and engineers
✅ Action item tracking spreadsheet
✅ Career development conversation guide
✅ Performance improvement plan template
✅ New hire 1:1 schedule (first 90 days)
Or better yet, use these templates automatically with EliuAI's AI-powered platform:
Start Free Trial - No Credit Card Required →
Final Thoughts: The Compounding Value of Great 1:1s
Great engineering 1:1s don't just make you a better manager—they compound over time to create exceptional teams.
When you consistently:
- Show up prepared and present
- Listen more than you talk
- Follow through on commitments
- Focus on development, not just tasks
- Create psychological safety
- Track progress over time
You build:
- 🚀 Higher performing teams (30% more productive)
- 💪 Stronger retention (87% less turnover)
- 📈 Faster growth (engineers develop 2x faster)
- 🎯 Better alignment (reduced wasted effort)
- 😊 Happier engineers (3x more engaged)
- 🏆 Your own career growth (great managers get promoted)
The math is simple: Invest 5-6 hours per week in quality 1:1s, get back 10-15 hours per week in reduced firefighting, turnover costs, and performance issues.
The hard part: Staying consistent when you're busy, when things are going well, or when you don't feel like it.
The solution: Build systems (like EliuAI) that make consistency easy, track what's working, and continuously improve.
Your engineers are your most important asset. Your 1:1s are your most important tool for developing them.
Start today. Your future self (and your team) will thank you.
Get Started with Better 1:1s Today
Option 1: DIY Approach
- Use our free template
- Implement with Google Docs or Notion
- Track action items manually
- Great for 1-3 reports
Option 2: AI-Powered Approach (Recommended)
- Start free trial of EliuAI
- Get AI prep, tracking, and insights automatically
- Scale to 5-10+ reports effortlessly
- See results in first week
Transform Your 1:1s with EliuAI - Start Free Trial →
Have questions about implementing this 1:1 template? Contact our team.
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About EliuAI: EliuAI is an AI-powered platform built specifically for engineering managers. We help you run better 1:1s, catch issues sooner, and build stronger teams through centralized team intelligence, automated action item tracking, and AI-generated insights. Trusted by 500+ engineering managers at companies from seed-stage startups to Fortune 500s.
